Surviving motherhood...sometimes.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Just a few more reasons why I love Conor
I went to a Blazer game last night and my friend Taneha took Conor to a birthday party. Here's what she sent me this morning...
"If I haven't already told you a million times I love hanging out with Conor. He was the sweetest boy yesterday. As soon as I got in the car he told me he liked my sweat shirt (jacket) and I looked really pretty. Not the only reason I love him but it scored points. Then we had a conversation about Mommy and her friends and Mommy's new car. Then, "I love my Mommy!" You just want to kiss him all over. He was really a good boy yesterday. Went potty at the 5 minute mark (1 minute) like Tara asked and was totally ok. I told him It was snack time and he said he didn't need a snack. Till he found out it meant cupcakes. I hope you had fun at the Blazer game. Conor and I had fun. Thanks for letting him go with."
"If I haven't already told you a million times I love hanging out with Conor. He was the sweetest boy yesterday. As soon as I got in the car he told me he liked my sweat shirt (jacket) and I looked really pretty. Not the only reason I love him but it scored points. Then we had a conversation about Mommy and her friends and Mommy's new car. Then, "I love my Mommy!" You just want to kiss him all over. He was really a good boy yesterday. Went potty at the 5 minute mark (1 minute) like Tara asked and was totally ok. I told him It was snack time and he said he didn't need a snack. Till he found out it meant cupcakes. I hope you had fun at the Blazer game. Conor and I had fun. Thanks for letting him go with."
God, I love that boy. I also love good friends who remind me how awesome my little man is. It can be easy to forget sometimes and a reminder from an outside source is always good.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
10 things I love
conor and finley and they way they hold hands when walking down the street
my blankie and how I don't care if you think I'm stupid and childish and ridiculous (TARA!) because it makes me feel good
Top Ramen because it is so good I almost can't believe it's only 31 cents
conor's brown eyes and eyelashes to the ceiling, how I can picture them vividly even when he's not around
finley's blond curls because oh em gee they are so darn cute
Crossing things off a to-do list
boots over leggings because its like wearing sweats to work but I don't get in trouble for wearing sweats to work
my friends who are too numerous to name here. they are awesome and amazing and astounding and they surprise and inspire me every. damn. day.
my crockpot. really? do I need to say more?
Morgan. for the obvious reasons like he's a good dad and a good husband and he provides for us and he has a sense of humor but more for the less obvious reasons. Like, he puts up with me and thinks I'm amazing where most people would think I was crazy. he brings me coffee every. single. morning. he still sings finley to sleep. he's affectionate with me and the kids, in public, and it doesn't occur to him to be uncomfortable. he supports me in running and weight loss and laziness and weight gain. for loving me, unconditionally, through ups, downs and sideways. through excitement and bordom. for better and for worse, forever and ever.
Happy Valentine's Day!
my blankie and how I don't care if you think I'm stupid and childish and ridiculous (TARA!) because it makes me feel good
Top Ramen because it is so good I almost can't believe it's only 31 cents
conor's brown eyes and eyelashes to the ceiling, how I can picture them vividly even when he's not around
finley's blond curls because oh em gee they are so darn cute
Crossing things off a to-do list
boots over leggings because its like wearing sweats to work but I don't get in trouble for wearing sweats to work
my friends who are too numerous to name here. they are awesome and amazing and astounding and they surprise and inspire me every. damn. day.
my crockpot. really? do I need to say more?
Morgan. for the obvious reasons like he's a good dad and a good husband and he provides for us and he has a sense of humor but more for the less obvious reasons. Like, he puts up with me and thinks I'm amazing where most people would think I was crazy. he brings me coffee every. single. morning. he still sings finley to sleep. he's affectionate with me and the kids, in public, and it doesn't occur to him to be uncomfortable. he supports me in running and weight loss and laziness and weight gain. for loving me, unconditionally, through ups, downs and sideways. through excitement and bordom. for better and for worse, forever and ever.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Monday, January 23, 2012
I don't always love my job...
but every once in a while, I get something like this and it makes all the not-so-great days totally worth it...
An actual email from a client
"Both K and I are so incredibly thankful for all the excellent service that we received from both you and Erin. We have never experienced this level of professional and personal care in any of our mortgage experiences in the past, nor have we ever heard of this positive experience from any of our friends. You have absolutely earned our respect and support and we will share our experience, including being a reference, with everyone. Again thank you both and once we have an open house we will let you know. Thanks, K and O"
It's not always an easy job, but it sure can be rewarding.
An actual email from a client
"Both K and I are so incredibly thankful for all the excellent service that we received from both you and Erin. We have never experienced this level of professional and personal care in any of our mortgage experiences in the past, nor have we ever heard of this positive experience from any of our friends. You have absolutely earned our respect and support and we will share our experience, including being a reference, with everyone. Again thank you both and once we have an open house we will let you know. Thanks, K and O"
It's not always an easy job, but it sure can be rewarding.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye
I don't think it would come as a surprise to people when I say I'm not much of a Christmas person. It's so falsely festive and full of stress and deadlines and cookies full of sugar that makes my head hurt and my ass grow.
But what I really love is New Years Eve. Not going out specifically but just that fresh feeling you get whenever you wrap something big (like 365 days) up. When you can close the door on a year and look back and (somewhat) objectively view what has happened over the past 12 months. There's a feeling of peace I feel in knowing that the new year is just around the corner and the mistakes and trials of the past year are finally behind you.
Of course 2012 is already equipped with it's own batch of troubles but somehow, today on New Year's Eve, it all seems manageable. Oh, I know, I know, I'll be singing a different tune come March (or maybe even January 3rd) but right now 2012 seems full of promise. Full of hope.
I think 2011 was a difficult year for a lot of people and for a lot of different reasons. So many wonderful women I know experienced the breakdown of their marriages. And, oh, my heart just breaks for them. Others have seen their children in the hospital being pumped full of horrible, awful, life-saving chemo drugs. Friends have lost babies, had babies too early and struggled with their babies turning into teenagers.
Me? I went back to work and, well, it's damn near killed me. I had one hell of a nervous breakdown a few months ago and I still live in fear of another one somewhere on the horizon. I've felt torn between being a good employee, a good wife, a good mother, a good friend. I spent so much time this year trying to be all those things, all at once and finally I learned I can't.
Um, do you know how hard it is for someone like me to say "I can't"? Um, real hard (that's what she said. (sorry, i can't help myself sometimes)). I don't feel like I'm giving 100% of myself to any part of my life, but I'm doing the best I can and that's just got to be good enough.
On the flip side though, 2011 has been so amazing in so many varied ways. I began my year by losing 20 pounds and ended the year losing 10 more. I started a half marathon training program and then ran a half marathon with my amazing sister-in-law. I faced my fear of failure, by failing spectaularly and I'm still here. The world actually DIDN'T end! I know, it shocked me too. I've gained confidence in myself even in spite of, or perhaps because of, my lack of perfection.
I did hot yoga! It was awful!
I made some really great friends this year (you know who you are!) and I deepened existing friendships. I've worked really hard on being honest this year in terms of my feelings and my needs and in being true to myself and not who I think others want me to be. And, instead of pushing people away, it's actually brought them closer. Who knew that a little vulnerability could go so far!
If you were to ask me 50 years from now which year I would go back and visit, I don't think I would say 2011. But, the amazing thing about this year is that all the shitty, shitty things that have happened have strengthened me, my friends, my family. I hope you have a just the BEST New Year's Eve and I wish that 2012 is your best year yet.
Wow. I really miss writing. I should do this more often.
But what I really love is New Years Eve. Not going out specifically but just that fresh feeling you get whenever you wrap something big (like 365 days) up. When you can close the door on a year and look back and (somewhat) objectively view what has happened over the past 12 months. There's a feeling of peace I feel in knowing that the new year is just around the corner and the mistakes and trials of the past year are finally behind you.
Of course 2012 is already equipped with it's own batch of troubles but somehow, today on New Year's Eve, it all seems manageable. Oh, I know, I know, I'll be singing a different tune come March (or maybe even January 3rd) but right now 2012 seems full of promise. Full of hope.
I think 2011 was a difficult year for a lot of people and for a lot of different reasons. So many wonderful women I know experienced the breakdown of their marriages. And, oh, my heart just breaks for them. Others have seen their children in the hospital being pumped full of horrible, awful, life-saving chemo drugs. Friends have lost babies, had babies too early and struggled with their babies turning into teenagers.
Me? I went back to work and, well, it's damn near killed me. I had one hell of a nervous breakdown a few months ago and I still live in fear of another one somewhere on the horizon. I've felt torn between being a good employee, a good wife, a good mother, a good friend. I spent so much time this year trying to be all those things, all at once and finally I learned I can't.
Um, do you know how hard it is for someone like me to say "I can't"? Um, real hard (that's what she said. (sorry, i can't help myself sometimes)). I don't feel like I'm giving 100% of myself to any part of my life, but I'm doing the best I can and that's just got to be good enough.
On the flip side though, 2011 has been so amazing in so many varied ways. I began my year by losing 20 pounds and ended the year losing 10 more. I started a half marathon training program and then ran a half marathon with my amazing sister-in-law. I faced my fear of failure, by failing spectaularly and I'm still here. The world actually DIDN'T end! I know, it shocked me too. I've gained confidence in myself even in spite of, or perhaps because of, my lack of perfection.
I did hot yoga! It was awful!
I made some really great friends this year (you know who you are!) and I deepened existing friendships. I've worked really hard on being honest this year in terms of my feelings and my needs and in being true to myself and not who I think others want me to be. And, instead of pushing people away, it's actually brought them closer. Who knew that a little vulnerability could go so far!
If you were to ask me 50 years from now which year I would go back and visit, I don't think I would say 2011. But, the amazing thing about this year is that all the shitty, shitty things that have happened have strengthened me, my friends, my family. I hope you have a just the BEST New Year's Eve and I wish that 2012 is your best year yet.
Wow. I really miss writing. I should do this more often.
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