A decade. What I learned

I learned how to ride public transportation. I learned how to fill out census paperwork. I learned how to order a drink in a bar. I learned what it felt like to be in love. I learned what it felt like to fall out of love. I learned what it felt like to have my heart broken. I learned what it felt like to have my heart burst with joy. I learned not to drink and drive. I learned that my punishment for drinking and driving is much less severe than others'.

I learned how to put aside my own feelings and just be there for a friend. I learned how to stand up for myself. I learned how to live within my means and be (more or less) comfortable doing it. I learned to like onions and tomatoes. I learned to like meatloaf. I learned to be a little more patient. I learned that friendships come and go, and that's ok. I learned that its not about how many friends you have, but about the quality of those friendships. I learned how to get crayon off walls. I DID NOT learn how to get baby spit up out of clothes. I learned that my family is not lame and weird but cool and quirky.

I learned that you can meet the love of your life on vacation. In a bar. When you've had too much to drink.

I learned that I'm worthy of his love and I have a right to demand it. I learned how to clean out a refrigerator but not a microwave. I learned how to pack a Uhaul and move across state lines. 3 times. In two years.

I learned how to put chains on my car. I learned that I should not drive in snow even with four-wheel drive and chains.

I learned that life is hard and sometimes, that's just all there is to it. I learned that amongst the pain and darkness there is always a point of light. I learned that bad things happen for a reason. Even if I have to wait a loooooong time to figure out what that reason is. I learned that there are very few things in my life I would do differently because all those things are links in a chain that brought me to where I am today, and despite everything I complain about, I wouldn't change where I am now for a thousand better decisions in my past.

I learned how to plant a garden. I learned that I am a terrible gardener. I learned to have confidence in not only my appearance but who I am as a person. I learned to like myself.

I learned how to use Facebook, Myspace, Blogger and Google Reader. I learned countless different loan software tools and forgot them all. I learned how to file unemployment. I learned how to ask for help. I learned how to swallow my pride and ask for help. I learned how to use craigslist.

I learned how to give birth. I learned how to mourn the loss of an unborn child. I learned how to swaddle a baby. I learned how to breastfeed. I learned how to prepare a bottle of formula. I learned how to have compassion. I learned how to take a deep breath, or two, and enter a room with a smile. I learned that the world doesn't revolve around me. Not at all. I learned that's ok. I learned how to make Thanksgiving Dinner.

I learned how to parallel park.

I learned what I wanted to do with my life. I learned how to go back to college. I learned that I'm actually smart. I learned that (don't tell my parents) if I apply myself, I can actually be quite successful. I learned that doing a good job, sometimes, is as much for me as it is for my child(ren). I learned that I hated being a loan officer. I learned that I want to be a teacher.

I learned that life is full of ups and downs and that what is happening right now, and who you are right now, is rarely what will be happening and who you will be in the future. I learned that situations are often out of my control, but my reactions to those situations are not. I learned to be a best friend, a wife, a mother.

THis first decade of the 2000's was full of life! I entered as a 20 year old know-it-all and I'm leaving as a 30 year old know nothing. In looking back on the last decade it seems like there couldn't possibly be another decade of greater personal growth and change. While I would have thought of myself as an adult at 20, at 30, I know now that I had so far to go. I wonder if on New Year's Eve 2019, at 40 years old (gulp!) I'll look back at 30 year old me and realize that she knew nothing either.

Happy New Year, everyone! May 2010 bring you all you hope for.

Photo Booth

Our iMac has a program that called Photo Booth that uses the built in camera to take pictures and distort them. I'm not sure what reminded me of it since I've never used it before, but yesterday afternoon Conor and I spent about a half an hour playing with it. I was laughing so hard I was just about in tears. Obviously, I'm easily entertained but seriously? Look at these pictures. We're hilarious! If you have a Mac and haven't explored this silly little program yet, please, go have some fun.

you can see that Morgan and I are FAR more entertained than Conor is

In other news, we got snow yesterday afternoon and evening. I watched the news at Noon and they mentioned that we might get a few snow flurries around town. Um yeah. They were way off base. It began at 2pm and kept up until about 4pm (giving us about an inch or so) when it tapered off. It began again at about 4:15 and dumped (well, Oregon-style dumped) about 4 inches. Needless to say, rush hour traffic was unpleasant. We had dinner plans with friends and it took us over an hour to get there. Normally a 10 minute drive. My car has all wheel drive and Morgan really is an excellent driver in the snow, but to me, it was a harrowing drive.

The snow appears to still be sticking around this morning but hopefully there is some improvment to the roads as I have to drive out to Aloha for my last day of work. Since the whole company will cease operations tomorrow, its really something I can't miss. I am, however, nervous. Last year when we had snow I had a four wheel drive SUV with chains and I STILL managed to spin out and break the chain. Even when other, non-four wheel drive, non-chained cars were doing just fine. Yeah, me and driving in the snow are not so good. So, wish me luck this morning. I just may need it!

Nesting

I'm nesting like crazy! I spend hours cleaning out closets and drawers and bookshelves and cabinets. Right now, nothing is safe from my desire to clean out the house and prepare for baby's arrival. Yes, I know that is still a good, solid 6 months away and no, I cannot seem to help myself. But man! It feels so good to throw away bags of crap that has been taking up space and drop off loads of unnecessary, unused stuff to Goodwill.

Now, I'm trying to convince Morgan that we need to purge some of our hats. He's not convinced. What do you think?
*obligatory Christmas post coming soon. Just trying to compile all of the pictures.

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Goodnight

We're off to bed! Merry Christmas everyone!

Playgroup

I hosted playgroup yesterday and got to catch up with some friends I've known since Conor was a little teeny baby butu haven't seen in months. Some I haven't seen in a year or more. Its always so much fun to get together and see how much the babies have grown. Of our group, two of us are onto baby # 2 and a couple more are trying for #2. We'll see who pops first!

Wyatt (taking off because he's not into pictures), Conor, Kellen, Amaiah (also, not happy about sitting for a picture), Ava and Holly

Wyatt, Ava, Conor and Kellen

Cute, cute, cute

I have very little to say so please enjoy some pictures instead. Above. we're baking.

Fort building.

Being goofy.

Sharing a bed with Tucker.

Sharing a cookie with Daddy.

Aren't they cute sitting together?

We began a project this weekend.
We took an old door...

Sanded it...

And cut off the bottom.
We're painting it and plan to use it as a headboard.
Will post more pictures as soon as its finished.

It's a...

BABY! Of course we don't know the sex yet but, if you believe the old wives tale, we might be having a girl. Yeah, that's all hype though so we're still keeping our options open. However, 170 beats per minutes for this little one when Conor was down in the 150 bpm range does make you wonder. So we'll see. I should be able to have an ultrasound to determine the sex in mid-February so stay tuned!

Otherwise, baby sounds healthy and wonderful.