I say it every year but I love New Year's Eve. Like, really, really love it. I spend most of the year looking forward, accomplishing this task so I can move on to the next task and I rarely look back. Frankly, who has the time? But I get all nostalgic at year's end and I start reminiscing.
For me, this year has been consumed by two things, running and relationships. In big ways, running has strengthened relationships with my two fellow runners, Niki and Billy. We signed up for the Eugene Marathon next year and have spent the last few months of Sunday's trudging along the miles as we work towards twenty six point two. There have been moments when I felt like an Olympian (who says there's no such thing as a runner's high? I am clearly no Olympian!) and others when I felt quite certain I should quit, sit on the couch and get fat. They come in equal measure so it always feels like a double accomplishment when I log in a good long run and don't die, puke, or faint.
I've felt conflicted this year about relationships that have taken a back seat and about others that have grown. There's only so much time in life so where one relationship grows, another has to shrink. Time, distance, changing interests, life just gets in the way. I miss my friends but I am so blessed to have deepened relationships with others.
I still struggle with the same things I did last year, namely having enough time to do it all, and being ok with ME when I can't.. This may just be my issue, something I deal with on a daily basis.
As this year ends, in light of school shootings, mall shootings, movie theater shootings, unimaginable gang rape, I can only wrap my arms around my babies, kiss their innocent little heads pray that they are spared exposure to the type of violence and evil that leaves me completely at a loss for words. Because, really how DO you explain that to children?
But there's also been beauty this year. A baby for my best friend, another on the way for another friend. Watching my kids grow, play, fight, love. Singing, dancing, running, writing (HA! not much), lots of love. 2012, you've been a good year. But I think 2013 is going to kick your ass.
Happy New Year, Friends. Kiss your littles and each other!