A Cloudy Morning

We went on a walk this morning and I had somuch fun with my little boy. We walked over to the church that is near our house and

we looked for blackberries, we compared blue berries and red berries (don't eat the red ones!), we looked for dreys (squirrel nests in trees - we are talking a lot about squirrels as they begin to collect nuts for winter - we're seeing a TON of them outside our front window), we saw a kitty but didn't pet it because you just never know, we jumped over leaves, we walked parking lot lines, we jumped over parking lot lines,

we hunted for dandelions, walked AROUND mud puddles, went up hill and down hill, we sat on a bench, we looked at big trucks (that's a container truck, Mommy), we (I) wished we had brought money because we (I) didn't realize just how close the Dutch Bros. is when you cut through the church,

we raced Trocipal Funder (misspelling completely intended) and War Wizard off curbs, into walls, down a ramp and through the grass, we found a stick which started off as a microphone but quickly morphed into a sword, we (Conor) ran down the (Mommy want to run too?) and finally we came home and ate chicken nuggets and french fries with fresh green beans and frozen peas.

Today was a good day.

Man,I love that kid.

Two months old!

Finley was two months old last week.  It seems like she was just born yesterday and also that she's been part of our family forever.  She's a fiesty little girl and never afraid to let us all know exactly what she wants.  But she's also not at all afraid to dole out the smiles, grins and (almost) giggles.  Morning is her happiest time of day and its a good thing too with the way she keeps us up all night.  She's obviously trying to redeem herself.

She saw Dr. Gillespie last week and weighs in at a solid 10 pounds, 9 ounces and 23 inches long.  Her weight is in the 50th percentile and her height is in the 75th percentile.  She's just a perfectly normal little pumpkin and we couldn't be happier with her.

She already sounds like a girl when she cries.  While Conor's cry was high pitched and shrill, Finley's cry, even in the throws of an all out fit, still sounds like there is a giggle hidden behind it.  One day she's going to stop crying, look at us and go "Come on, guys!  I was just JOKING!"

She loves bathtime, her fists, and her Baby Vegas mat.  She loves to sleep in my arms, or Daddy's arms and thinks Conor's face is just FASCINATING.  She's got a gassy little tummy and the stinkiest farts you could imagine.  She'll clear a room with those bad boys.

She's just our perfect little princess.

Seriously, Mom?

Breathless

The love I feel for Conor is so strong I'm often surprised and frightened by it. I'm sure every mother feels this way about her child so this, in itself, is not news.   What is news is that today, for the first time really, I felt that same all consuming passion for Finley. 

What new mothers are not often told is that you may not immediately fall madly in love with your child.  In fact, you may feel a sort of vague apathy toward this little creature you have grown and birthed.

With Conor this feeling terrified the life right out of me.  Here was my helpless infant child and I didn't feel passionately in love with him.  Surely there must be something wrong with me?  I loved him, of course, and I would have thrown myself in front of a bus for him, but in looking at him I didn't find it hard to breathe at the sight of his face or the smell of his little head.  It was a scary time for me.

Eventually, of course, I fell for him.   And so, when I discovered that I wasn't yet passionate about little Miss Finley I was content knowing that in time I would be consumed by love for her.  And today, as I was sitting on the couch with Finley in my arms,waiting for her to fall asleep, I leaned down to kiss her little button nose and I thought, "Have I ever loved someone as much as I love you?"  And there it was.  All of a sudden that same love I feel for Conor came crashing down on my head for Finley and she took my breath away.