So, I had an interesting delivery, but it was actually relatively uneventful. I mean, it was fast, sure. And there was the moment when they said NICU, but overall, Finley popped out and was fine.
***If you don't like words such as placenta, and membrane and blood, please don't read any further. Trust me***
However! That darn placenta. Again! For whatever reason I wasn't able to push the placenta out naturally so the good Dr. Bair had to manually extract it. What does that mean, you ask? Well, he had to actually reach his hand UP INTO my lady parts and pull it out. Only it came out in pieces. And I lost a lot of blood. Think of a two liter bottle of Sprite and fill it up halfway with my blood. Yes. You're right. Gross.
So finally the blood slowed down and I was asked to get up and go to the bathroom. Um, ok. I feel a little woozy and not at all like I have to pee, but whatevs, I'll give it a go. Except that I couldn't. Go, that is. I sat and I sat and I sat and they ran the water and told me to think tinkle thoughts but still nothing. Finally the nurse told me that she would have to use the catheter. Bleck. Is there anything worse than a catheter? Actually, not. So, I'm on my way back to the bed and I feel a little woozy. Suddenly my peripheral vision goes out. Then, everything goes black and white.
I have passed out a number of times in my life. I have very low blood pressure and sometimes, things just go fuzzy and I take a little snooze. So, anyway, I'm on my way back to the bed, I have black and white tunnel vision and I reach for the bed.
Next thing I know I'm shaking uncontrollably and I'm bent over the bed with my forehead resting on the mattress. Oops, passed out. Also, I hit my head on the food tray on the way down which caused the nurse to yell out "Oh SHIT!" and then spend the next ten minutes apologizing for her language. Funny that she was more concerned about the profanity than letting me pass out and whack my head.
My punishment for passing out was having to use a catheter all night long and being confined to bed for the next 18 hours. Do you what doesn't feel good on butchered lady bits? A catheter and 18 hours of sitting on said lady bits.
Anyway, so the immediate afterbirth wasn't that great, but I recovered quickly and was able to go home early Monday morning. Tuesday I spent vigorously cleaning the house and by Wednesday I began feeling kind of strange. I went from virtually no pain in the hospital to minor pain on Wednesday, increasing pain by Thursday and Friday and pretty terrible pain on Saturday.
Monday, I was back at the doctor's office.
And that is why this tale has three parts. Far too much to say...