Monday, December 14, 2009

I took the weekend off

Setting the scene:

Its a Saturday afternoon. A mother and her son are sharing a dressing room at Target. Son is throwing clothes on the floor. Mother is annoyed but partially relieved that boy is not crawling out under the door, or worse, looking into another dressing room. Suddenly, son looks at mother quizzically...

Son: Mama, you stinky.

Mother: (frantically, because she knows other people in the dressing room can hear) WHAT? What are you talking about you silly baby? Mommy doesn't stink. Mommy took a shower this morning. Remember, you came into the bathroom 12 kajillion times?

Son: (looking at Mother like she's completely crazy) Nope. Mama STINKY! STINKY!

Mother: (resigned) Awesome.


Yeah, you can probably tell this is not the beginning of the world's worst play but what actually happened to me on Saturday afternoon. I came home and told Morgan about it and from what we can think of, we gather that he said that (not actually the first time I"ve taken off my clothes and had him call me stinky, by the way) because every time he has a poopy diaper we pull of his pants and say, "oh Conor, you're stinky". So maybe I was asking for it.

I was telling some girlfriends (also mom's) about this later that evening and we got to sharing these stories about the funny, embarrassing and downright mortifying things kids say. I'm sure every parent has more than a few but I thought I would share a couple with you.

My girlfriend was in her bedroom after just having gotten out of the shower. Her three year old came in, saw her naked and said "ugh! Mom that is DISGUSTING."

Another friend was preparing for Saturday's very party when her seven year old came in, saw her in just her Spanx (no bra, no dress, just the Spanx) and said "uh, Mom, that looks really bad on you".

What is with these kids? Don't they realize that we birthed them? Gave them life and love and, most importantly, toys? Seriously, where is the love?

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